r/askgaymen

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What’s the best out there, I like hard and fast.. what’s more reliable?

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Hi! I'm Alexander (m21) and the next week I'm going on a vacation with my friend group.

We already booked the hotel and decided how divide the bedrooms. I'll sleep with Danny (m20) and in the last period I started to be interested in him, but just sexually, I'm sure I don't have any feelings for him except friendship.

He's not really my sexual type, but since I saw he had open a gay porn site on his smartphone I started thinking about him as a "friend with benefits". No one knows I like both guys and girls, and no one except me (I suppose) knows about him.

So, he insisted to be in the same bedroom with me. I suspect he likes me, because when we're out together he's always beside me, sometimes grabbing me with his arm around my shoulders, and smiling at every single thing I say even if it's bot that funny.

But I know one thing about him. He's shy as hell, and never talks about sex, becoming red like a pepper when someone asks about sex.

So, I do want to have some fun with him during our vacation, but how do I make it happen? I wanna do it with discretion.

I thought about a truth or dare game between us with some alcohol to make him less shy. Is it a good idea?

I’m 20 years old guy, never had sex before, I’m more interested in being a bottom, will be me meeting this guy I’ve been talking for few months now, still scared and nervous, any tips to relax.

Im not asking this question as a means for anything other than the fact that im curious. I feel like we’ve all been here and I am wanting to hear stories behind the answers. Feed me your wisdom and emotional intelligence please 🙏🏻❤️

I met this guy on an app and were supposed hook up with weekend.. He’s got a BWC, it looks delicious, dudes the same age as me.. He wants to eat and fk my butt.. So hot af.. but he says he’s clean, do you think I should let him hit raw? I’ve never been filled up before and always wanted to know the feeling and I really like this guy, hopefully we get to hook up more.. I’m nervous about the whole raw thing tho.. appreciate it

I've never sucked but I want to try it, it seems to be very tasty, the sensation, the glans on the tongue, the humiliation, and then hot milk, it seems so good, but is it really? Would you advise me to try it?

It happened again, and I am tired of it.

I (33M) was at the bar yesterday night, with a group I got along on an app to meet new people and go out together. Took a seat, with the people that got there early, and we started to chat.

There was a cute girl in front of me, we started chatting. The usual boring stuff, like what do you do for a living, etc... Didn't got further, since we didn't shared that much common interests. I definitely saw in her eyes that she was charmed,, but there is another women I saw some times on the app, that I like, and she was there. We were not sitting close for now, and I an not running after her, but definitely keeping myself available since we had good times together. I didn't wanted to close the door of a possible opportunity.

The thing is, I started to start chatting with a dude sitting next to me, interesting guy, we talked about some shared interests, it was clearly a most interesting talk than before...

I felt something in his eyes at some point, but didn't thought much of it. It became clearer when he decided to offer me a drink. Even if I started to understand, I didn't declined. I wasn't interested, but I stayed friendly. After all, we regularly offer drinks between friends to each at the bar.

That is when it became weird. I got out for vaping with some other people from the group, and some people, especially the friend of my crush, started to insinuating some things like "sometimes we should listen to the signs" or things like that. I clearly understood what she meant, and playing her game by insinuating back I am knowing myself.

When we came back, the cute girl in front of me was avoiding my gaze, the complete opposite as before. And I felt like I catched some other signs of behavior change towards me, but I was probably overthinking it at this point.

I got colder with the guy, and started to talk more around. That was kinda rude and stupid of me, but I felt like I had to do it to get things clear. All of that made me kinda uncomfortable. And after talking with my crush, something felt different.

That is not the first time it happens to me, and I am sick of it. I know that I can give a little bit of this vibe. I am a sensitive guy. I am pretty confident, and I value myself. Good looking too, and that's actually a part of the problem, since it happens that guy hit on me and I didn't realize it right away. Not really into shallow talks, like about the last sports results, I prefer deeper talks. I am interested in yoga, and I find rope skipping to be a good cardio. And I am aware that some of these can look unusual for a guy.

But ffs, how do that allows people to think they know you better than you do, and judging you. I wouldn't give a shit if it was just a misunderstanding and we would laught of it after, but it seems like when the doubt is in their mind, there is no way to dislodge it. And if it cost me to loose some opportunity with a girl I like, that is the worst... It already happened before.

I know myself, probably more that a lot of people know themselves. I know that I am in touch with my feminity, probably more that a lot of guys. And yeah I can genuinely feel a connection with another guy, but like a friendly or brotherly one, not a sentimental one.

The worst is that when a situation like that happened, every 2/3 years, even if I know myself, I can't help to give it importance. Like I give too much importance of what people think of me and if they could actually see something I would be in deny of. There is always this "what if", like the idea of if it is real and I am in deny of it, I am just wasting time on my sentimental life. Which is strange since when it happens I always arrive to the same conclusion: I understand why it happened but I know I am into women and couldn't even imagine having some intimacy with a guy.

All of that feel something weird to you all that read me, I would be interested by what you redditors would have to say about this.

Thanks you for reading, and listening to me venting 😂 have a good day

How critical is it for bottoms to douche thoroughly before interacting, asking the Tops out there? Does it bother you that much or would you prefer to just get it?

So, I recently tried my first prostate toy — kind of a spontaneous buy — and honestly, it was way better than I expected. It’s opened the door to wanting to explore more, but now I’m a bit lost.

There are so many types out there — vibrating, thrusting, remote-controlled, even app-connected ones — and I have no idea what direction to go next. I’m not looking to go full dungeon mode or anything, just curious where other guys started and what ended up being a game-changer for you.

Also, I got this code emailed to me from Adam & Eve — it’s called FUNSAVE — says 50% off and a free gift. Do these kinds of codes actually work, or is it just a clickbait thing?

Would appreciate any honest recs or personal experiences. Thanks.

Hey y’all,

I need some advice. I just started this new FWB situation, and things are going really well—but every time we try to go all the way, my hole ends up being too tight and it just… doesn’t happen.

It’s not like I don’t want to—I definitely do—but my body just isn’t relaxing enough in the moment. Should I be practicing on my own or something? I don’t want him to think I’m not into it when I really am.

Also… how do y’all even plan for this stuff? Like, am I supposed to schedule douching? Because I can’t just not eat all day on the off chance we might hook up. I feel like I’m trying to be spontaneous but my body needs a 3-hour prep window.

Any tips would be seriously appreciated!

Looking for gay top/bottom men and trans women for first experience

I caught syphilis a year ago and have since recovered, but there is a scar under the head of my penis. I often find when having intercourse that the scar splits open and I can't continue. Has anyone had this before and any advice? (I'm uncut if that makes a difference).

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So my bf and I have fairly comparable sex drives save from his being higher than mine, but thankfully he's perfectly happy to finish himself off next to me and I enjoy the show. That being said I feel MUCH hornier at night and prefer night sex. Usually he's tired and wants to go to bed. He wakes up super horny and wants sex. Only thing is my digestive tract is on quite a regular schedule and morning usually when I have to drop my kids off at the pool (SHIT). Obviously sex is off the table if I really gotta crap, and afterwards isn't exactly the most sexy thing. I was wondering if anyone else deals with this or might have any suggestions on work arounds? He doesn't mind that I'm usually not up for morning sex but I would love for us to be a little more "aligned" in that sense.

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Is it still a thing or just it's too intimate??

One week after a hookup where we swapped head, I started having bad pain when I peed. The next day I kind of felt like I had the flu noticed a small red mark on my dick. Went to the doctor and it turns out I have genital HSV1. In other words this guy had a history of cold sores on his mouth but didn’t have one when we hooked up. But he still gave me genital herpes through a blowjob.

There is no way to 100% prevent the transmission of herpes. There is always a small chance of transmitting it, even without any symptoms.

I feel like my life is over. I wanted to try group stuff, bathhouses, etc. but it feels like that option is closed to me now. Anything spontaneous can’t happen ever again because I need to kill the mood by saying I have herpes.

Does anyone have any advice?

Hello, I dont know if this the right place to post this, but I have been questioning my sexuality lately. A few days ago I downloaded grindr again just to see what is out there and I got really turned on. I started to even watch some gay porn that night. I guess my question is what is the best way to explore safely at my age (31)?

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Beside jacking off before anal sex. I consistently nut from anal and have yet to find a solution to this "problem". At the ripe age of 33 im seeking your advice. Thank you in advance

Just curious