r/bostonr4r
Hello, fellow reprobates, deplorables, and misanthropes. It has been a really fun time on r/bostonr4r (have you seen the number of our verified posters increasing significantly, as well as the number of success posts?).
But even with all of the good news, I want to draw attention and publicize some negative things, in the public interest. Please read the below, and feel free to engage in conversation in the comments about what I have mentioned.
Thank you all for making r/bostonr4r an incredible place. I truly believe it is, and I am sharing some these negative happenings in the interest of keeping this an incredible place and raising awareness of the maliciousness and nefariousness from the scammers that try and prey upon our users. We have had some explosive growth -- we average over 1,000 new users (net growth) every month.
-cape.
There will always be illegitimate accounts preying on those in any sex-related forum. By now, many of you have seen that I have added a new removal message for certain comments -- "You have responded to an illegitimate account".
These accounts are set up for many reasons. Sometimes, it is a user getting their jollies by being a troll. Sometimes it is to solicit photos and nudes from others, that they would not earn through licit means. Sometimes, it is to attempt a 419 Scam. Other times, it is to engage in blackmail using any photos/information that you send.
I comment often: "be aware of who is on the other side of the conversation". No one is deserving of unearned trust.
Before messaging a user in response to their post, or responding to a message you have received, examine their profile. Is it legitimate? Do the photos look fake, or "too good"? Are the posts and comments simply spamming of memes? Is there a significant abundance of karma, but a deleted post history? Does the reddit avatar show a man, when the post is "F4M"? Does the post history show posts in other location subreddits?
I will go a step further. There are plenty accounts used by redditors who travel. There are plenty of redditors, who for various reasons, will try and find sexual partners while traveling (hotel rooms are hot, right?). There are others who capitalize off this and will attempt to prey on the users responding to their posts. If an account has lots of travel in its history, and the account has not verified with r/bostonr4r, r/gonewild, r/getverified, or the like, be wary of the account until demonstrated otherwise. This especially applies to the "we are a husband/wife couple traveling for work, looking for a single man to fuck her silly." Think with your brain before your dick. How many couples do you know that travel together when one is on business travel? It does happen, but it is not regular behavior. Verify who is on the other side of the conversation. Think before you thirst. [*]
I try and catch these posts as they happen, and then remove the posts and ban the responsible account, but I cannot always be looking at the r/bostonr4r feed. Use the "report" button and the modmail messaging to send details on things that I have either missed or not seen -- it is a great help.
For the record, I catch about two dozen illegitimate accounts per day. It is my hope that none of you ever see the posts made by those accounts before I delete them, but I know that it is impossible for that to be the case.
Think before you thirst.
* I would like to add that some of these traveling accounts may also be victims of sexual assault, forced prostitution, and sex trafficking, and should not be interacted with for that reason. h/t u/temporarythyme.
Following the above, I have received multiple reports of users being blackmailed by those they are messaging. The engagement goes as follows: there's conversation; the malicious account requests nudes with the target's face; the malicious account uses face-search software to pinpoint the user's real-life identity, and threaten to release the photos to the user's parents/employer/friends. In some cases, the target's family were actually contacted.
Be aware of this. Do not send identifying information to users you do not know. Be extremely cautious with exchanging nude photos, especially those containing your face.
Think before you thirst.
There has also been a recent raft of catfishing. There has always been catfishing that has occured using the posts and photos from the women of r/bostonr4r and r/bostongonewild. Historically, this has emerged as one-for-one copying of r4r posts (where the illegitimate account copies a well-written post and attempts to use that as a lure), or using photos of women from r/bostongonewild and r/gonewild to entrap men and women via F4M and F4F posts.
Recently, there has been a significant change. There have been reports of men's photos from r/bostongonewild being used in catfish attempts on M4M posts. I have also received four reports of photos of men that have been private messaged to "women" (and not otherwise publicly posted online) being used as lures in both M4M and M4F posts.
What do we do about this? Again, be cautious with whom you share photos. Try to ensure you know who is on the other side of conversation, using video-calls or voice-calls over Snapchat/Telegram/Google Voice to confirm identity.
Special thanks to the ENM husband/wife couple that first brought this to my attention, and their recounting of the "Honey, did you respond to my post with a picture from when you had hair?" conversation they had with each other in learning that the husband's 5+year old photos were being used as a catfish in her messaging with an M4F post.
Special thanks also to the one M4M user who reported that he had a user attempt to catfish him with his own photos that he only exchanged in private message with other users.
I have added numerous comments about verifying who is on the other side of the conversation. You'll notice that I did not mention the "live picture" functionality of snapchat or kik. Or the location sharing. These features can be "spoofed" by malicious users.
What is spoofing? Spoofing is the process by which a malicious user can insert "bad data" into an application. As an example, a snapchat live picture comes from the user's phone camera, is then captured by snapchat, and is transmitted to its destination. Spoofing would occur by the user having modified software that bypasses the camera and instead provides the snapchat app a previously-taken, saved photo, that snapchat thinks is a real picture, and comes in as a live photo. In a similar vein, there are plenty of applications that allow for GPS location spoofing. This includes the Android and iOS developer kits, which provide tools to set false locations for developers to test their applications before deployment. Do not rely on this information to prove who is on the other end of the conversation.
What is a good approach? A voice memo or voice call, where both users say their reddit username and the username of the one they are talking with. A live video call, where both users can wave to each other and say each other's username. A recorded video that is sent immediately based upon user input (user A says "record a video of you saying 'twinkle twinkle little star'", and User B sends that video within 30 seconds, which is too short of a time for a malicious user to create a doctored video).
If you have been following the news and other subreddits infested with generative AI, you'll see that the images/videos produced using AI tools have been getting better and better, but still have failings (look at the six fingers and floating limbs on a lot of AI produced imagery). Be cautious until proven otherwise.
Please screenshot the interactions you have with the account, a screenshot of their profile, and send those to me (u/capeaccount) and send a modmail saying you have done so. If you do not have chat invites, send a modmail requesting that I chat you. I will use those screenshots as evidence to ban the offending account (I am hesitant to ban without evidence, as I know that will be used maliciously).
I have toyed with maintaining a list of unscrupulous accounts, but that violates reddit's Terms of Service, and I do not want to have my account nor this subreddit shut down for that, even though it flies in the face of common sense and logic.
You only can see the r/bostonr4r flair showing subreddit gender verification if the user has posts or comments on r/bostonr4r in their history. You may receive a chat or message from a user claiming that they are a r/bostonr4r verified user. There are two things that can be done:
1) have the user make a comment on your r/bostonr4r post, so you can see their flair, and they can delete the comment afterwards. This works, however, it does leave a trail that can be seen in archives. Many of our users, especially our lady users, do not like to have their presence as a lady seeking sexual partners broadcast on the internet, as it increases the size of the bullseye on them compared to the bullseye carried by every woman on the internet. You also can just:
2) message the moderators using modmail, or me directly via chat, to ask if a user is verified. "Cape, u/suchandsuchafakeaccount messaged me and claims to be verified; can you confirm that they are?" "Yes, they are verified as a 25F."
Please follow good practice with your reddit accounts and passwords. Reddit offers two-factor authentication, which is a way of keeping your accounts from being cracked. In addition, please ensure that you follow good password practice and do not use dictionary words as your password.
If you look at the illegitimate accounts that post, there are a significant number that use accounts that are more than three years old (sometimes nine or ten years old!) to post, and these accounts were defunct and idle and are being "harvested" due to their lack of strong passwords.
I would like to draw attention to the r/bostonr4r rules, which are listed on the sidebar of the subreddit. I am asking that everyone refamiliarize themselves with the rules, and be aware of my moderation approach.
Warnings may be skipped for larger offenses.
This applies to post frequency, harassment, and all of the other rules listed. There is zero tolerance given to posts or topics including transactions.
I would also like to highlight that there is no need to comment on a post to say "DMed". I will remove those comments, give warnings, and then follow the similar ban approach. I would love comments to be productive.
In addition -- if you are making a post involving someone else, reference them in the post. "I am a woman looking for a woman but my husband will watch" means MF4F, not F4F.
One thing of note: reddit has a new feature that has exited beta and gone sitewide (and r/bostonr4r was a part of the trial!). There is some technology that works on reddit's servers to link accounts, to prevent banned users from making a new account and bypassing a ban. Without getting into details on how this works, the end-result is that a user simply cannot change accounts or create a new one and return to a subreddit from which they are banned. In practice, this means that if you have multiple accounts and one gets banned, you will not be allowed to post/interact from another account, and the effect will be similar to shadowbanning where you think you are able to participate. Ask the users who have been banned on r/bostonr4r and tried to work around this feature how difficult it is to do so.
This is in the rules, but I will restate it here. r/bostonr4r verification (different from reddit account verification) exists to prove the genders of those behind the accounts. This started with some very a-bit-beyond-standard sexual posts being thought of as "this woman can't possibly exist", when in fact, the woman was actively looking to be gangbanged. Verification shows that the user making the F4M post is a real woman, or that the MF couple is real and not a man looking for stroke-off fantasy, or that the rare FF couples (we have a few of those!) looking for other partners are real. The benefit we add for verified users is that they are allowed to make one post per day, whereas unverified users are allowed one post per five days.
Deleting your post and reposting counts as an offense. I am not talking about "my title had a typo and I had to make a new post 3 minutes later to get past the automoderator". I am talking about posting at 3:15PM, 6:22PM, 8:21PM, because you are thirsty and trying to remain at the top of the feed. That is a fast track to having your posts removed, and likely becoming banned from the subreddit. reddit provides tools to track this , and I have written my own tools to track this in a different fashion.
Simply put, do not send unsolicited dick pics. If you do, and I receive a screenshot showing as much (in response to an F4X post indicating anything other than "send dick pics"), you will be banned from r/bostonr4r.
If you are a man, and you negatively interact with X4F posts, you will be banned. This means M4F, F4F, MF4F, MM4F, FM4F, FF4F.
What are allowable interactions? "I can vouch for this user." "This user tried to catfish me. Be careful."
What are unallowable interactions? "If you decide you want a man" "can I watch"
Howdy fellow redditors!
Here's our monthly missed connections thread for r/bostonr4r
Feel free to post your missed connection(s) for the month in the comments below - who knows maybe they're a redditor too!
Cheers!
u/BostonRob125
Hey Reddit,
I'm a 32 year old woman living in Somerville. Lately I've been enjoying riding my bike, rock climbing, baking sourdough bread, cooking, and matcha lattes ngl. I'm 5'9" with blonde hair and blue eyes.
I just moved into my own place and it can be lonely! I'm looking for an intimate relationship with an attractive, single guy but would love to start by being friends first. Some turn ons for me are funny, self aware, active, having hobbies, close to me in age, close to me geographically, and having a car. Turn offs are misogyny, arrogance, and poor communication skills.
If you're interested send a DM with your favorite movie and a little bit about yourself :)
Dick picks will be ignored.
Please be around my age.
just wanna top a girl and munch away
just wanna suck a guy off and let him f*** my t*ts ;))) 4/20 only
i cant host so either you can or we do some car play i’ll send a pic of me and verify once we chat and you send a pic (this place is scary and also you have to be attractive to me)
Hey indian couple here looking for hung kinky older m. Will be in boston soon dm with stats and ethnicty...
Im 5'6 with a 6" uncut cock just looking to plow some ass. Been craving it. I dont want to kiss, I might be open to getting head, Definitely want to rim before I drill you. I can travel but not too far. Like an hour ride is too much.
You need to be a bottom that wants anal and maybe rimming that can host for a little romp. You need to be clean, disease free. I don't mind people drinking or smoking whatever, i just dont partake in any hard shit. 420 friendly, Shroom friendly, If u like poppers take em, we all got vices.
open to try a cnc situation for the straight bros that are looking for dick on here. Just gotta plan it properly.
If we chat im down to schedule another day
DM me for more details .
6'3 200 8cut for ladies couples or trans. Hmu easygoing and fun got pics to trade
Dm for details
Hey all,
Hairy dad bod here with a nice and thick bwc. I am looking for someone willing to worship my hairy body and long cock. Mouth is preferred. Love to shove my cock deep
I can host this morning
I have the day off today and nothing to do. Looking for excitement and fun. Open to most anything, don't care if you're married or single. If you're a size queen and want to have some fun, send me a message. Females only.
I am here because I’ve been feeling a bit isolated and could really use a new friend. Life has been busy, and I’ve noticed that my circle of friends has shrunk over time. I’m missing those meaningful, down-to-earth connections that make life more enjoyable.
About me:
I'm 46, work from home, enjoy cooking, archery, being outdoors, cycling, board games, card games, almost anything with technology, live music, and many more interests that will probably come up in conversation. I am generally upbeat, easygoing, curious about life, and more social in smaller settings. I am hoping to find someone who shares similar interests as well as openness to explore new ones together.
What I’m looking for:
I’m looking for someone who values authentic conversations and is open to building a genuine friendship. It’s important to me that we can talk about anything and everything, and share a few laughs.
What I’d like if you reached out:
Tell me a little about yourself, interests, or what brings you to Reddit and prompted you to reply to my post. We can chat and see if there’s interest. If not, a simple “Not interested” or “Sorry, this isn’t for me” will save us both from the ghosting phenomenon. If we hit it off, maybe we can meetup over a drink or a walk in a scenic area.
About me: . 32 years old . 5’10 210lbs . African American/Jamaican . Athletic build and quite muscular . Gym rat and cardio machine ( I put the stamina to good use 😉) . Proud nerd into anime, gamer, horror movie aficionado, and into other nerdy mediums.
Looking to chat with a new face throughout the day and vibe and build some rapport. And possibly link up later and frankly give you some deep backshots (respectfully of course, or disrespectfully if nasty and into that lol). I’m quite blessed and above average in the endowment area (pics in post history). If interested and like what you see feel free to reach out!
Need one in my mouth asap. Must host. Very discreet. Want to come make you shoot in my throat and leave, love a good ass to eat with it or your tongue in mine while I suck away.
5'11, 185 athletic, 6 in, mulatto. 28
Coming to the Fall River area next week and looking for someone to share some fun times with. In the bedroom out of the bedroom. Whatever kind of fun we can get into.
WM salt and pepper hair…..not salty! Haha. Let’s chat and see where it goes.
hi! i just wna talk with someone! im kinda iffy n sick right now T_T ;;
i write poems when my brain won’t shut up, get way too emotionally invested in side characters, and like asking oddly specific questions just to see where the convo goes
literally anything!! if you’ve got a favorite cloud shape, a dream you still remember from years ago, or a weirdly strong opinion
my dms are still busted but ill do my best!
Hope everyone is having a good start to their day on this sunny Thursday. The boredom is killing me this morning so I thought I would come out and see if there are any adventurous females or couples (I am straight) out there who might be in the same boat and looking for something to do. I can host in the Braintree area. We can chill and see what happens. No pressure. I am 420 friendly so if you're up for smoking that's an option too. I am open to verifying that I'm real by whatever method you see fit. I do have pics on my profile page . So if you're an open-minded, non-judgmental woman or couple looking to cure your boredom you should reach out and we can chat. Have a good one!
I have a bf but crave tight smooth holes so hmu if you need yours eaten or pounded. I am only looking for twinks under 22 to make it worth cheating lmao. (I also love giving head if you have a nice dick)
A one time thing is fine, but ideally would love a local twink who can take loads a few times a month maybe.
Me: white 6" uncut smooth dad bod. You: Just be a smooth twinky dude lol
I am a married, closeted bi married bearish guy in metrowest. I would love to find a regular buddy to meet and have fun, and that is the ultimate goal, but in the meantime, how about we pass the day chatting about filthy things. My ideal is finding a dirty minded but otherwise normal and sane top guy who is nearby. Someone who wants to chat and get to know each other, and then meet if we can figure out logistics.
I have always been a good guy. I do the right things most of the time. I'm loyal. Moral. All of that stuff. But right now, I’m struggling with that. I have girlfriend and I have a huge cheating fetish. I truly cannot help imagining meeting someone here and bringing her to a hotel or car or anywhere we can fit our bodies to have my way with her. It’s like the only thing on my mind. I want flirting. I want to send you pictures of my body. I want to tease you. I want you to tease me. If you want to talk about this with me, send me a chat. I have things I need to get off my chest.
DM me
Looking for a nice dick to drain td or tmrw. If you want to get your balls completely sucked dry pleaseeeee DM me :) All cocks of all sizes welcome
Any fit college boys looking for an eager mouth? Watch videos of my girl while you fill my mouth. Down to make sure it’s super discreet and safe. Just looking to be made into a beta cuck by a nice college bwc. 18-30, cut cocks only
Looking for someone who wants to hang out. We can just keep it friendly if you want or more. I’m trying to find someone who wants to have something discreet and casual. I’m attached and looking for someone who is either in the same boat or doesn’t care/judge.
I am soon to be divorced (will take like a year) but in the meantime am looking for someone in a similar attached situation who doesn’t mind discretion and sneaking around.
I’m 40, 6 feet tall, 230 lbs with a football player build, salt and pepper hair and a matching well groomed beard. I am good looking, smell great, and dress extremely well. I take excellent care of myself and hygiene. I’m also verified on here.
I’m fun, passionate, articulate, intelligent, have a great sense of humor and know how to hold a conversation.
I’m looking for someone who is seeking an affair or is turned on by the whole cheating idea, and wants to have some fun with a temporarily married man. You’re not doing any damage because the marriage is already destroyed. It’s just a timing issue for reasons I will eventually explain.
I like women of all ethnicities, shapes, and sizes. A pretty face matters the most and you should take care of yourself. Women into makeup and beauty are my weakness. I also really like younger women, but open to any age.
If interested please reach out.