r/submissive

/r/Submissive used to be a porn subreddit for sharing, well, anything related to submission (femdom, sub, ropes, slaves, etc) but got banned over a year ago for being unmoderated.

This sub is now under new moderation and is no longer a porn subreddit. There are enough subs out there for BDSM related content.

This sub will now be a place for the community to talk about anything and everything related to the topic!

Please comment to share the ways in which your dynamic has enhanced your mental health ✨ Very curious to hear others’ stories. The powerful effects of the power imbalance just feel like something worth celebrating...

For me personally, submission has done the impossible: it orders my mind’s chaos. Pre-dynamic, I took Adderall daily to treat ADHD. If I skipped a day accidentally, it was dreadful. Post-dynamic, everything felt clear for the first time. And I will never stop being grateful to my Daddy, who is foremost my Master, for awakening those feelings of stillness, of genuine focus, so... Thank You, Daddy ☺️

I lied to and deeply disappointed my Goddess today and I feel terrible and don't know what to do with myself. Would really appreciate any advice.

My Goddess keeps me locked in chastity 24/7 except for play time and certain exceptions. Being locked away is one of my biggest kinks and I love the feeling of always being under her control. Lately I have begun waking in the middle of the night straining really hard against my cage and I am ashamed to admit I have begun removing my cage before bed so I can sleep soundly through the night. I don't know why, but I did not consult her about this. I know she would have been understanding and would have worked with me on this, but deep down I felt like any time spent out of the cage would be seen as a failure as her submissive. Stupid, I know...

That brings me to today. I always lock myself back up and wish her good morning as soon as I wake and then get ready for work. I have been cutting back on my caffeine intake lately and was a bit groggy today and forgot to put my cage on before I left for work. While I was at work she requested a cage check and I panicked. I used an old photo and tried to pass it off as current and she saw right through my bullshit. After continuing to dig myself deeper into this hole, I eventually knew there was no way out of it and did not want to continue lying to her so I confessed. She was rightfully upset and I was rightfully ashamed. She punished me appropriately when I got home.

But the worst part is, this isn't the first time I have done this. She has caught me in a lie like this before and I promised not to do it again. I feel like I have broken her trust and may never get it back. I have no one to blame but myself. I don't know why I self destruct like this. I like to think of myself as a loyal, obedient, and trustworthy sub, but my actions lately do not reflect that. I don't even know what to say for myself as my words have lost any weight they once had.

I just don't know what to do and have rightfully felt like such a disappointment all day. I have apologized over and over, but my apologies aren't worth much right now. I'm just really struggling with what I'm feeling right now.

If anyone reading has any advice or input I would really appreciate it. If not, thanks for listening anyways.

My Dom and I broke up about a week ago. I’ve been feeling the desire and need for physical release, however for the last year my pleasure has been linked with his pleasure and I feel stupid but I don’t know how to get off without him. I’ve been sexually active since I was a teenager and you’d think that with 20 years of experience of masturbation and sex that I would know what to do and that I should feel perfectly fine with being able to do what I need to. I feel stuck and frustrated; it feels wrong to touch myself, and I don’t know what to do. I feel bad, I feel guilty. I only touch myself whenever he tells me to, and how he tells me to. With broken up and what I do is my business and none of his business, I’m free to do whatever it is that I want and he has no hold over me any more. So why is it that he still does?

I am a submissive male in a wonderful flr with my Domme. I am considering asking Her to do our next scene while I am high. Has anyone done this? Thoughts? Suggestions? TIA

sometimes i genuinely feel like something is wrong with me. i try so hard to find people i connect with but it feels like the people i’m interested in are never interested in kink or they try to be but it changes their perception of me. we get to the conversation about interests in bed and they try to act normal about it but they always end up treating me differently after. i feel like less of a person to them and they try to gaslight and say nothings changed when clearly it has.

i keep having to remind myself that i’m not crazy for wanting to submit to someone and i will find someone that can give me what i want. it’s just so disheartening to deal with so many wrong people over and over again. i miss sub space so much and it feels like ill never be able to have that again at this point.

I am myself a dom and my sub/slave REALLY wants a tattoo on her left buttcheek that says “property of master/daddy” I’m okay with it as it gets covered up usually and we are very open about our lifestyle. Are there anyone here i could maybe compensate for their time for some drawings/tattoo ideas? She and I would like it in a stamp/branding form. She wants it to look almost like she was branded/stamped in a factory if that makes sense. (We wrote this together so she will also read replies. She is dead set on this so please dont spam dont do it. Thank you all!

What mean or derogatory things do men like to hear when you're the dominant one? I have some ideas but haven't been dominant a lot and just wondering what men would like to hear.

Thank you, Daddi….

For taking my wrist firmly when I was overwhelmed….my world narrowed to your face, and I could breathe..

For teaching me Nadu, Expose, Wall.  For putting me in position when I forgot what to do

pulling my head back when I gagged on your cock, so I can relax and try again

telling me “Good girl” when I held your cock in my throat, stroking my hair while you moaned

for the marks on my breast that I begged for

for teaching me that “No” and “Stop” don’t mean “No” and “Stop” and making me use my safeword, to show me how to use it, and that I should use it, and when.  For holding me tight when I did use the safeword.  For telling me it was good

I feel so proud to show you my wetness by guiding your hand to my pussy – your commands make me wet

Thank you, Daddi, for dominating me….I’m yours

So I've figured out a lot about what I like from a relationship that unfortunately ended due to major differences and I wamt to be able to find a quicker and easier way to explain it and/or find some content based around it. I've realised I like a mostly non-sexual submission, mostly with an emphasis on light touch and verbal (often whispered) affirmations/dominance. Stuff like general affirmations and giving up of control give me a sense of comfort, warmth and tingles that I just kinda really like. Even if the acts end up sensual in nature I don't feel a need for it to become sexual.

The kind of content I'm looking for is generally just artists and comics with stuff like that in it without eventually emphasising sex or sexual acts, though some sensual stuff is fine.

F19 young sub here - curious about some of the success stories of how you met your doms, and if it started as a D/s dynamic or flourished into one? The apps feel a bit strange lately, would love to hear your stories :)

Apologizes in advance if this post doesn't make any sense.

Lately I've been feeling useless as a sub. I don't benefit my partner in any way that I can see, I'm more like a burden than anything. When they have stressful days at work and they come home wanting to relax here I am, needing their attention and complaining about my own day at work.

I'm a Little, and while I do try to do things for them it never feels like enough. I have had talks with them about this and they always reassure me that they love taking care of me and everything is fine but I know they're lying, they just won't admit it because they don't want to hurt me. But them keeping it inside also hurts. I never want to cause them pain or hurt them in any kind of way but I've heard them crying in the bathroom, noticed them disassociating during our care times and other things that point to their not fine. And it never seems that what I do is enough, they make sacrifices for me and I make sacrifices for them too. But it feels so uneven and unfair. At this point I don't even know what my role in this dynamic is, I don't even know what I'm doing anymore.

I try to give them space for their own existence, where I don't slip or I leave for a little so they truly have their own "me time" but even that doesn't feel like enough.

Are there any suggestions for other subs or Littles on what you do to support your caretakers/Dom?

I’m having my first scene with a rigger tomorrow night. Any advice? What should I wear? How should I prepare? Thanks!

I’m in a chat with someone i play with and we where wondering if you can consider someone begging to cum after being teased for some time as an act of submission?

It can be quite tricky but we are curious what you guys are thinking about that?

Me (32F) and my husband have very recently started doing kinky stuff in the bedroom. I have recently realised that I really love being spanked, told what to do and praised (as in - tell me what to do and tell me how good I am at doing it) in bed. He has been wonderful in taking on a dominant role in that sense - although to clarify I am only submissive in sex - not at all in everyday life. I am looking for ideas/suggestions on kinky activities to try together. Full disclosure: i like being bound, cuffed/tied up, spanked very hard, being told what to do, blindfolded, and soft/medium slaps on the breasts. I DO NOT like degradation, being hurt anywhere else on my body, being humiliated. Any suggestions and recommendations are very welcome :)

Daddy has me take a nice hot relaxing bath the day after a session as part of my After Care. I turned it into a whole spa bath experience with champagne and snacks and beach wave sounds.

Chamomile Tea, bubbles, candles, a nice tray to put it all on over my tub. Wonderful smelling soap and even a facial cleanser brush that does a full massage.

We had a really intense session today that included a punishment (my mouth likes to get me into trouble.) Daddy used a cane this time and he knew the session was going to likely make my come down period more sharp and fast plus I ended up with some nice welps so he had me do the spa bath this evening.

If you’re a person into nice hot relaxing baths, do yourself a favor and set yourself up with stuff to take a spa bath.

I feel so freaking great right now and really grateful to have such a wonderful, caring Daddy. 🥰

I’m M25 looking to become more submissive for my partner F25. She always gets to pick the position which usually is dominating me while I submissively take it, but I want to be even more of a sub. What kind of things can I do to let her know I’m a good lil sub?

A preface. I'm a M Dom leaning switch (37). I tried to be a sub officially once and the experience was horrible. I didn't know how to do subspace, didn't have much of a guide to it, they took a hard dom stance and all it did was make me feel shitty about myself and they ended it with 0 aftercare.

I've been a Dom for about 10 years since that experience and I know a little more of what I want if I sub (needing a soft domme and likely a service/pleasure top like myself) Finding that has been challenging enough but I think I want to try again. Life's stressful and I kinda just want to relinquish control over to someone else for a few hours.

That said, how does subspace properly work? I can say all the words the person wants to hear but they always just feel hollow and performative. I'd like to try and experience this at some point but I have no idea how to do it or how to really relinquish control. I'd like some tips and stories please if anyone is willing to share.

Thank you.

I (37F) am a Vixen in a Stag -Vixen relationship where I’m ultra submissive to my Daddy Stag.

This isn’t something I’d ever thought would happen. Sure I was always submissive but I had my limits. He changed that.

First he was my Daddy. He spoiled me with gifts, trips, his time, and affection. He gave me everything I wanted. He became my Daddy.

He knew I was a slut when we met. He encourages my slutty antics. It became his goal to make me sluttier. That’s when he became my Stag.

Daddy Stag knows what the fuck to do with me and my wild pussy. He gives my pussy the beatings she needs and nurtures my heart.

He dominates me without holding back. He has such control and composure, never afraid of being rough. His confidence makes me feel safe. His energy makes me feel loved.

He’s won my heart and my pussy. I ache to please him. Pleasing him fills me with pleasure. I want him to tell me what to do just so I can obey him and make him proud.

I worship him. I crawl to him. I’m collared by him. I belong to him. He makes me want to submit to him like I never have. He owns my heart. He owns my pussy.

He has such ownership over my pussy, he offers it up to guys he thinks are worthy of fucking me. He makes sure I look hot when he sends me off on dates. He balances classy and slutty.

“Do as I say and you’ll get fucked,” he tells me, and I feel the puddle form in my panties. He knows how needy my pussy is. So I obey and serve him. I submit to him in every way and it makes my pussy drip.

I need his dominance and control over me. I need him to own my pussy and invite others into it. I need him to tell me to get on the bed and open my legs for another man. I need to be submissive to him. It makes my heart and pussy tingle when I’m my most submissive with him. I need to be his Good Girl, his Babygirl.

He says he wants to make me sluttier and more submissive. My pussy and I are so excited for that journey with Daddy Stag. ❤️‍🔥

I (F) LOVE the idea of forced orgasms. I am naturally a sub and love being fully submisive in any way i'm told. I love being a good little filthy slut. I have tried with my partner to explore orgasm torture but in this area i am weak. It is actually pathetic. I need help and tips on how to build up my tolerance and get broken in. I want to be the best I can.

I am desperate to be totally destroyed and broken in by partner. each session I go into it thinking it will be different but I always let them down.

This is a throwaway account and I know people will think this post is fake because of what I'm about to say but I promise its my truth.

I'm very wet all of the time and I want nothing more than to spray everywhere and be totally destroyed until I'm crying with pleasure, pain, euphoria. I need to be made to clean up my mess, I need to experience it. But my tolerance is so low.

I will cum 2 times, maybe push through and will be a good girl and take 3 on a good day before I use my safeword. I just cannot push through, it's like instantly my clit throbs, my nipples get so hard and sensitive and I have to stop. But i like these feelings too, so i dont understand why i'm stopping? I then beg for punishment because I want to be punished for not doing better (but I do like being punished too)

I know I have to push through but how do I build up the tolerance? I know my partner needs to force me by any means but i have been bad at using my safeword which then means we stop.

Am I subconsciously jeopardising things so I can be punished?

Should we ignore safewords and just have my partner proceed regardless of what I say in the moment?

Usually I am clamped, plugged, fucked or fingered & have a high powered wand on my clit. I enjoy all of these especially at the same time but should we remove some stimulation initially?

Also i m not allowed to pleasure myself without my dom present. They will let me sometimes if I ask nicely and I've been good but it's very rare so any edging play has to be done with them.

Any help would be amazing because I see videos of all these broken in dolls taking it and it's all I want. Please help me understand so i can do better I know it will be incredible for me and my partner.

I’m currently single, and I’ve been noticing how hard it is to stay connected to my submissive side without being in a dynamic. It feels like that part of me only really surfaces when I’m with someone who can hold that space and lead — otherwise, it just… goes quiet.

In my regular life, I’m the one who’s in control. Work, responsibilities, stress — I’m always managing something or someone, and there’s no real space to let go. It’s overwhelming sometimes. I don’t have an outlet where I can stop being responsible and just be soft or held or led. That absence really weighs on me, and I think it’s something I’ve only recently realized I miss deeply.

I know some people talk about staying in touch with their sub side even when they’re single — through journaling, rituals, mindset shifts, etc. But honestly? That hasn’t worked for me. I don’t feel submissive on my own. I want to be in a dynamic — I crave that connection and structure and feeling of being wanted in that way.

I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else feels like this.
🔹 How do you handle being single when submission is such a core part of you?
🔹 What helps when you feel cut off from that energy?

Would love to hear from anyone else who’s in this space.

So I’m in a fairly new relationship ((not officially d/s dynamic) but my partner is a Dom. I have never been in an d/s dynamic although I am naturally submissive sexually.

We have discussed having a d/s dynamic but we are also very busy and haven’t created the time. I don’t really know how to express how much i desire to have a d/s dynamic although it’s new to me.

My partner has considered me a Brat at times, I don’t completely disagree. But crazy to think that I could learn to become more submissive which would allow space for d/s dynamic with my partner?

My gf loves to beg and be used during sex. We already have pretty rough, dominant sex, but what would you like to hear from your dom to make you beg?

Any advice and ideas are welcome.

Mondays are my off day, and my Daddy/Owner is also my partner so we spend the day together. i love letting him use me as He pleases, and today He wanted to use my mouth. He made it so hot, as always, telling me that my body belongs to Daddy and forcing me to take it down my throat.

After He finished, He kissed me n then fell asleep. i did my chores and made some ramen for lunch. i came back in the living room an hour later and Daddy was still asleep, exactly like He was when i left. i love taking care of, pleasing, n loving my Daddy. life is so much better once i gave Him control. <3

Hi I’m new to the submissive lifestyle like this is my first relationship like this and I’m realizing that is a lot more intense or complicated than I thought. For example, I sent a sexy video to my doms and they didn’t really say anything. I asked another dom and she said they there’s not worship, positive affirmations or compliments. I don’t know if I can do that. What are some other need to know things when getting into the lifestyle?